Four Weeks Later
Today it has been exactly four weeks since I was in the ER with chronic fatigue, dizziness, aches, pains, increased heart rate, and loss of sensation in my hands and feet. I am very lucky that I didn’t have the blood clot the doctor’s suspected, but the fact remains that my body has crashed and I am in desperate need of good health and balance.
When I returned to work a week later, I knew what I had long ignored, that I need to make substantial lifestyle changes – including leaving a job that requires more than my body can give.
For about three years, I’ve avoided dealing with a genetic disorder/dysfunction (homozygous MTHFR C677T) which generates a whole slew of symptoms. I had gone to natural doctors on and off but never really stuck to the health regiments they suggested. I always started enthusiastically, but between demanding jobs and a disorder that wears me out, I always fell off the wellness wagon. My go to motto has been, “I’ll worry about it when I have to” and waved off symptoms that were nudging me to take care of myself.
Well, the time has come and now I have worry about it.
I am dedicating myself to new habits that include meditation, mindfulness, yoga, acupuncture, and whatever other wellness rituals that come my way forward.
Follow the Leader
My dream is to one day be part of a wellness & spiritual community; to work for & with people whose goals are to raise vibrations and urge balance in the lives of all. At the moment, I’m a bit of a lonely island, but that doesn’t mean I can’t surround myself with people who inspire the kind of life I’d like to manifest.
One of my favorite spiritual leaders is Gabby Bernstein, queen “Spirit Junkie” and self-help book author.
I’ve admittedly always been a little weary of self-help books, and have viewed them as a little hoaky. Gabby, however, has a powerful and authentic voice that speaks directly to my healing needs. I’m on her mailing list, and some days it feels like her blog posts are written just for me.
My step-mom gifted me Gabby’s book May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness 3 or 4 years ago. I’ve read the intro multiple times, fully feeling into her message of hope, healing, and finding deep spiritual connection within. Yet, the moment I get to the part that requires my own actions, I stop.
I’m always too tired, I can always start tomorrow, I just don’t have the space for it right now.
These are the excuses I always grab onto.
The thing is though, I really am tired and when the chronic fatigue pops up, every ounce of energy my body allowances, I give to my job. Even though it goes against how I was raised – that hard work is the #1 priority – I’ve decided to switch this order. My health and my well-being are going to the top of my totem pole and I’m going to start implementing the teachings of my favorite coach.
Now, there is a decent chance I’ve gotten a little ahead of myself in signing up for two courses, but I am also feeling pretty zinged for happiness.
I chose these two because I want to deepen my connection with the Universe, become a magnet for the miracles I have my eye on, and to develop a healthy relationship with food and my body. While always petite and slim, I have deprived myself of proper nourishment for 2 decades and have developed a very unhappy relationship with food. This journey of wellness is not just to gain enlightenment, but to heal the physical body I’m fortunate to live within.
I’m finally ready to get past the intro of May Cause Miracles and do the work I need to achieve wellness while also using the bonus courses Gabby offers.
(Not related but I find the word “achieve” very difficult to spell.)
May Cause Miracles starts with a quote from the late Wayne Dyer, “Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place you must find.”
If there’s anyone else out there who has followed Gabby’s courses or who have found other wellness leaders to help with their healings, let me know! I’d love to learn about your experiences.
Reflections of a Philosophically inclined Fitness and Lifestyle Blogger